86 47

We Are Ruled by Evil Pygmies

Blue Marble, 1972.

I remember the first time I heard the term 86. I was on a small boat with my friend Greg Cukor, in a little bay next to the terra firma of Long Island. We were perhaps fourteen years old, and for our expedition some kindly adult had packed a lunch of sandwiches and several glass bottles of Coca-Cola. It was a beautiful, sunny day with a light breeze. After I finished a Coke, I asked Greg what I should do with the bottle, and he said, "86 it." 

I didn't know what that meant, so he showed me. Apparently it was bad form just to toss a Coke bottle over the side into the water, because it might float and thereby spoil everybody's view of the pristine bay. Instead, he took my bottle and held it under water until it filled, and then released it. He explained that the bottle would then sink to the sandy bottom, where Mother Nature would eventually turn it into sand and seaglass. This was well before the first Earth Day in 1970, so throwing trash into the water sounded quite reasonable to me.

I have fond memories of that day, and I am unwilling to let the Trumpies steal one bit of that day from me. 86 means to discard a Coke bottle in what appeared at the time to be an appropriate manner.

Recently James Comey was on a beach; he took a picture of some seashells arranged to spell out 86 47 and posted the picture online. The Trumposphere went bananas, saying 86 meant "assassinate." These people are idiots - powerful and evil, but idiots nonetheless.

I personally think that disposing of Donald Trump in an appropriate and timely manner is a very good idea. I propose that we swim around underwater for a bit and rediscover Atlantis. I'm sure it's down there somewhere. Dust things off, clean the bilge, make sure the air purifiers are working, and send Trump to Atlantis. ASAP.

Oh - and make sure there is a large supply of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I'm thinking no cheeseburgers; he needs to watch his cholesterol. And we should see to it that he receives regular visits from SpongeBob SquarePants. They can amuse themselves by arguing about the size of their audiences.

See also The 800-Pound Gorilla in the Oval Office, Little Karl, Message for the Mad King.